Will I set you free?
Nice to be back here in tumblr and im here just to update myself in this blogging site.. the last time I posted here was 4 months ago? cant remember! so biatch! hahahah
To start off, Im currently in a situation wherein im deciding on the next page of my life. So tired and very confusing to choose.Trying to set my mind on new things, new life and new me but the more im trying to move forward, there were times that I always found myself caught in past. Ganun pala talaga kapag masyado mong binubusy sarili mo, you’re really forgetting it but you cant escape the pain..andun parin pag naiisip mo sya..But atleast for now, i can definitely say that im over to my past and Im now facing the world all by myself, without “them”(talking to my pasts).
I knew this person for almost 4 months, nice and very cool person. I call this person majinboo because for me “mataba sya” hahaha!*peace.. I was so happy the first time I met majinboo..Makulit at higit sa lahat eh madaldal..For sure you will have no dull moments with this person..We became friends since then..Pero meron pala syang someone nun, then ayun I felt happy kasi may magaalala sa kanya.. But suddenly things have changed, Umiiyak sya nung tumawag sakin. I really felt sad.. I did my best to make things comfortable at off course para hindi nya maramdaman yung emptiness at yung feeling of being left by someone..I let majinboo feel my sympathy for what happened..As day passes by, majinboo finally recovered. We always talked and we even laughed at phone..Talking someone and talking somethings that are happening..But as the day goes by, Im starting to feel that I care for bu. I always remind the things that bu used to forgot.. From taking the meds upto eating meals!!
Pero paano mo sasabihin sa kanya na Mahal mo na sya ng mas higit pa sa kaibigan na hindi sya lalayo o hindi sya masasaktan?? Nagcacare ka sa kanya pero sya ba nag cacare sayu? Nag aalala ka sa kanya, sya ba nararamdaman nya din ba un?? Kapag ba sinabi nya yung salitang I love you, does it mean na mahal ka din nya?? magulo, nakakaparanoid, nakakabaliw at higit sa lahat ANG SAKIT SAKIT!! di ko naman hiniling to eh, hiniling ko lang sana makagetover na ako pero bakit? ang hirap kasi eh..sana nga kaya kong alisin ka sa sistema ko eh pero wala akong magawa, iiyak na lang ba o tatanggapin ang mga bagay bagay?? Di ko alam kung aamin na ba ako o ikikimkim ko na lang sa sarili ko..Gusto kong sabihin sayu ng mahal kita, di lang isa, di lang dalawa kundi maraming beses..Am I depriving myself for happiness?? ayaw kitang pakawalan, pero kung ayaw mo naman anung magagawa ko..Ang lagi kong sinasabi sayu, if your really happy for your decision and if you think it is the right to do then do it..Masaya pa ako sa ganun..pero hanggang asa na lang ba ako? aasa sa mga bagay na parang ang hirap abutin??Gusto ko maging parte ng buhay mo at gusto kitang maging parte ng buhay ko pero parang kailangan kong tahakin ang isang mahabang landas na maraming lubak para maabot ka..Gusto ko ng sumuko pero naiisip ko, isa pala akong LEON, hindi sumusuko at hindi papatalo..i should conquer my fears..I have this one fear that I cant conquer, and you what is it? FEAR OF LOSING YOU..takot akong mawala ka, takot ako ng biglang isang araw talikudan mo na ang Popoy mo..Sana nga kaya ko, sana nga para di na ako nahihirapan ng ganito..
AM I GOING TO SET YOU FREE or AM I GOING TO GAMBLE OUR FRIENDSHIP JUST FOR LOVE??
unhappy and sad :’( -popoyÜ
